ramblings and wafflings

grrr

2009-10-11T19:54:39Z

facebook being a tit....not good...one has islands to dig up before the game starts for real after many wees of the preview...sad?...why of course...addictive?...even more so.

on a good note...the brief meeting with mothsky was entertaining...duncan enjoyed his latte in neros much to my sons embarassment and my amusement at said embarassment lol...shame it was only for an hr...maybe we can come to london to stay with the moth and she can show myself and agbag the sights????....to be discussed me thinks!

much hilarity here as the three kittens get chased around the living room by hamsters in their balls...

much annoyance at the worlds most annoying twins getting through in xfactor..

meetings

2009-10-08T23:23:49Z

am meeting miss mothy tomorrow for a quick coffee and gossip...she will be passing through swindon.(i know,passing through is prob the best thing to do with this place lol) so we will be going to neros and seeing how many free lattes we can bum off my daughter if she is in work lol.

yay..

one yr on...

2009-08-01T20:43:13Z

well near as damn it anyway...omg i cant believe its been so long since i waffled on here and so much has changed.

so...stephs 18th birthday came and went...had a lovely tie...nice meal out....and a week later she moved out of home mainly due to the good old social taking all my benefits away and claiming that as steph was now a working adult in the house it would be her responsibility to pay the rent/council tax and bills....she lives happily mmostly with a group of mates and enjoys her freedom and i enjoy the tidiness.

cj is ok....still working in his garage job so thats great....no longer a child physically...taller than me and kinda manly which is wierd yet sometimes still a little boy when hes hurt or upset and struggles with how to deal with those times...its always nice when he occasionally comes up for a hug for no reaqson...

karen and i still going strong...we went to greece in may and had a wonderful time indeedy. she finally moved in with me in june and its been great...the kids have settled in surprizingly well aand we created cj a bedroom in the 'shed' room so hes happy and they all have their own bedrooms so can have space from eachother when needed.

the animal population has risen to over 30 now that karen is living here as her beasts came with her lol...we have 1 dog,9 cats with a kitten due in 2 weeks time lol...9 degus,9 hamsters,2 mice and 1 bearded dragon...we have had a visit from r.s.p.c.a after a bitter so called friend claimed to them that my cats were undernourished and flea ridden and the rodents were in dirty cramped cages etc...the woman roared with laughter when she saw the animals...said they were perfectly looked after etc and there was deffo no case there...an hr later someone from council was on doorstep having recieved a complaint about the excessive amount of animals in the house...again on seeing them all she said there was nothing to worry about and case closed...fucking annoying busy bodies...all my animals are loved,played with and spoiled so no one can ever say any different...my house doesnt smell or anything and as the rodents are all caged they dont encroach on my neighbours or bother them...one of my cats has kinda moved in next door but thats no problem with either of us lol and my other neighbours cat comes in here when she wants so again no problem there.

anyhow...am off now to watch big brother.

laters peeps

deja vu

2008-09-02T16:46:12Z

so..here i am again after yet another pointless row that started off cus i dared suggest she ask her fucking son to do something other than sit on his arse at the pc.

i dont wish him dead...im not that horrid...just out of my life would be nice...then we might stand a chance of us actually having a life!...as it stands atm i cant even go to her house when hes there cus he starts off on one.

why cant i just find someone,fall in love and it be uncomplicated.

amber

so...my life so far

2008-08-31T22:23:08Z

um....well to be honest not much has changed in the last yr or so...

Steph is coming up to 18yrs old...drinks way to much alcohol,spends way to much money and thinks this house is really a hotel...but all in all shes a great kid/woman...she is working 25 hrs a week but is hoping to get more hrs now that some of the other peeps are going away to uni etc..the bad point of this is that my benefits for her will be axed soon...just waiting for the social to let me know what degree of poverty they plan on leaving me in...i know i know...time to get a job etc...but its just soooooooooooooooo scary and theres not a lot going right now for someone who hasnt worked in 18yrs,has mental health problems but still owns a brain and cant do shit all....still im sure something will; turn up...i am looking but no luck so far.

Cj is a bit better,he now 14yrs old...controlling his temper slightly better nowadays...he goes back to school on thursday but is only allowed to go 3 days a week and even then not in main stream...he will be going into a small group of kids who also have problems with school,same teacher,same classroom all day so he gets the continuaty he needs...the other two days he will be doing work experience. this he is doing in a garage which he loves,its the perfect environment for someone like cj,physical work,greasy,in a very male environment messing around with cars all day. he has been working there on a saturday for a couple of mths now thx to my next door neighbour and they agreed to take him on for his work experience so they get free labour and he gets loads of training,when hes 16 he hopes to be offered an apprentiship so thats all good.

Animal wise...i am up to 6 cats,1 dog,1 gerbil and 1 bearded dragon!

myself and k still together,although sometimes i wonder why!...its hard,her son hates me and i dont think much of him either...hes a lazy shit who thinks the world revolves around him and i wont tolerate that...and we have both accepted while he lives at home there is no way we can get married and live together so im am very much now at the dont look forward to any future,jjust take each day ass it comes,which is working atm to save my sanity cus it was getting hard and painful beating my head against a brick wall as far as her son goes...anyway...am going to go bed now...cj is up at 6 to go to work...poo.

boo....remember me!!!

2008-07-25T13:40:30Z

ok...cant chat for long as i have killed my back and sitting is dreadfully painful but just saying hi to anyone who might notice my return and i will get back to you soon and start emptying my head about my tedious life asap...

blabbering

2007-07-29T21:02:03Z

so...here I sit...waffling to k on msn and twitting around n the net so thought I would stop by here for brief update...where shall I start...been a shit week,..what with CJ's court appearence, bloody write up in the local newspaper and all the flack that came with that....fighting with Karen and seriously doubting wether or not we would recover...not feeling too well...

so...court...that was a fun morning...NOT!!!!!!!!!!!....was due to go in at 9.45 and didnt enter the courtroom until 12.30 at least ...mainly due to a silly little bitch having a paddy and pissing the magistrate off so he went off to cool down....though not enough cus we went in afterwards and got the brunt of his paddy...the other little shit who did the actual burglary and theft and vandalism and who admitted it to the police and admitted that all cj did was enter the house then leave didnt already have a final warning from the police so didnt have to go to court and couldnt be sued for compensation so the full blame and fine fell on cj's/my shoulders....he also got a 6mt referral order...which is kinda like kiddie parole and if he fucks that up he will go back to court and have a supervision order where he hasd a curfew etc and if that gets fucked up its youth offenders institute....was unimpressed at having to pay the full compo....but am making him pay it back to me at £10 a mth...which isnt much but basically all the set money he gets....i think then...cus of the stress and all the barbed comments from K....it all got on top of me wednesday when the story was in the bloody local rag...with piccies and so i had a massive row with karen...mainly about her bloody moodswings which leave me confused and walking on eggshells...told her she was acting like a kid and to fuck off....didnt speak to her all day thursday...had myself a duvet day and read most of the new harry potter...saw her friday and kinda rowed again....about her bloody son this time....and we seem to be ok atm....though i guess a lot is unsead and to be honest i cant be arsed rowing and banging my head against brick walls so will remain unsead.

is Cjs birthday today....by rights and if my dad and k had their ways it would go totally ignored and no gifts...but im not like that...hes being punished now by the courts and i see no point in constantly making digs at him etc as that makes everyone miserable and just prolongs things...he knows my views on the situation and knows how pissed off i am...so y keep ranting at him...it wont change things...hes off to stay with my mad mate j tomorrow for a few days to give us all a break and time to move on...

anyhow...thats about it really...am bloody tired all the time atm and pretty fed up and thinking 'harming' thoughts constantly which sucks cus i should just do it really and then realize it wont change things.

later taters

back online

2007-07-15T15:01:48Z

have got a new pc...yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

confused over the whole internet situation...cant seem to install my AOL internet but i seem to have internet access anyway...not sure how or where its coming from but for the time being i dont really care..

Cj got court date...23rd July...oh joy...I expect he will get a nice fine which i will have to pay off cus obviously hes got no money...

Little bastards from neighbourhood have taken to lobbing stones at the windows and managed to smash one last night...have reported to police etc but doubt it will stop them.

amber1968 @ 2007-07-09T11:40:00

2007-07-09T10:49:38Z

so...here i sit again on k's pc as I still dont have one...time to chat up the legal loan sharks called Provident for some pennies and purchase a new one...or i will never survive the summer hols.

So life in amberville potters on as usual...animals all doing well though my baby jasper was very poorly last week and spent his days lying on the sofa sneezing and limping when he walked and crying if touched...much better now and back to doing his manly things about the neighbouhood.

shabear came down for her visit...long overdue i have to say!...she bout the child and boyfriend at the last minute...which i was a bit dubious about but turned out ok actually...he was more chatty then before and much better that i expected so thats cool...she is back down next week to pick up her kitty that she managed to con her bf into letting her have...along with some help from my old lady marmite who plonked herself on his lap when he arrived and rarely left it...lol....she doesnt know yet but she may be taking 2 kittys back with her cus one of the other people who was having one might not be allowed...so time will tell!

Steph good...prom went fine...she looked lovely...will get pics sorted when i can...cj still a little shit...arrested again a few weeks ago...this time for burglary....social services still wont fucking take himn tho...told them to fuck off out my house in the end when the useless bitch informed me she was now off duty and to contact the emergancy number if i needed 'help'...social services have a funny def of help tho i am learning..god its gonna be a bloody long 6 weeks!!!!

right...time to strim her ladyships jungle of a garden then scootle home and see how much mess steph has left before she went to work.

amber1968 @ 2007-06-07T13:13:00

2007-06-07T12:18:38Z

13lbs in weight lost so far...not been too hard really...but starting to get frustrated that its coming off slowly (though i know thats better)and that it doesnt show yet...but i know realistically i need to lose at least 3 stones before theres any noticable difference.

Sha and coel down in a couple of weeks...will be nice to see her cus she aint been here in forever!!!!!!

Getting new pets at weekend...my house is starting to resemble noahs ark!!!...2 baby bunnies and a baby guinea pig...they are sooooooooooooo sweet though dunno yet what guinea pig will be named.

pc still fucked...again a frustration although more peaceful at home with one less thing for the kids to row about.

steph has left school...been working full time and knackered with it but im proud of her for doing her bit etc....cj excluded again today for telling a teacher to fuck off...little sod...hes been doing so wel lately.

hey ho.

so

2007-05-08T07:29:45Z

am still pc less....starting to get to me now....not that i was on it much anyway but it was always nice having the option...now i dont have the option unless i am round someones house...currently round k's mums house waiting for the gas man to come do something to her fire...then round to my mums for lunch.

Got Stephs prom stuff on friday....beautiful dress...ivory,off shoulder with wrap....kinda made me see how beautiful she will look if she ever gets married...managed to get the dress,shoes,bag and jewelerry for under ninety kwid so bargain...dress courtesy off tkmaxx!!!!!

Few bickers with k this weekend...she been low and fed up with the mess of her house etc but doesnt do much to rectify the situation....her son is a lazy sod who does bugger all to help her even though she out at work all day....she drops hints etc etc at me to get me to help with her housework etc but i wont anymore...i used too but within minuets the kids come in and just dump their crap everywhere etc so i see no point...and i wont do anything to help her son cus he is so rude and disrespectful towards her....her previous gf used to do a lot of her housework for her but i am not gonna baby her when she can do it herself or be tougher on the kids...anyway...when she gets like this she drags me down too cus i get tense and walk on eggshells around her...so i have discovered the easiest option is to just leave her to stew for a few days...which i have done...

have been dieting for the last 2 weeks...first week lost 4lbs so well pleased with that...will weigh myself again on thursday and see if any more shed....k didnt lose any so i felt a bit bad about the fact i did...she reckons she hasnt been doing too well this week on her diet again so we shall see if she has dropped anything yet.

fucking pc

2007-04-29T10:22:01Z

pc at home still dead...starting to miss it a bit now....bloody thing wont load windows....any solutions peeps?

amber1968 @ 2007-04-06T13:00:00

2007-04-06T12:06:15Z

so,...tis good friday...whats good about it?...nah...i guess in the grand scheme of things its ok.

Have walked the beast down the fields...so she knackered now...steph is out doing steph stuff...cj at his mates but no doubt he will show up again soon and want the pc so i am making the best of being able to use it without doing deals...Mike is home so wont see much of Karen...boo!...saw her this morning when we walked dogs...mite pop round there later for a bit ...will see how i feel.

am hot....god i fucking hate the summer/hot weather...im so much more comfy in winter...especially as im sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo hugley overweight nowadays...I want to lose some...but just cant motivate myself...I think logically I have replaced cutting and bashing and burning with eating...maybe i should just get the blade out again in the quest to be thinner and healthier..cant even say it puts karen off me cus it doesnt...which is a good thing i know...though i dont understand it!

still kinda shell shocked by r killing himself...which is daft in a way because i never physically met the man or anything...dunno...maybe its the time of yr or summat...who knows!

owell.

birthdays no more

2007-04-05T07:10:58Z

today would have been R's birthday. He shall have no more but he shall always be remembered.

In time I shall add to the memorial thread in BTB....atm its too hard and I am struggling to continue going there or anywhere online...wondering what the point is when it seems we cant help those who need help anyway.

heyho.

in other news...

i have a new tv,i slept on sofa last night cus k's snoring was doing my head in...lol...kids and animals fine...and im a boring bitch.

there you go.

r.i.p R

2007-04-03T08:55:56Z

am crying as I type.

Found out that another online friend has died. I knew he/she was feeling very very low atm and I knew he/she had made plans etc...but I never thought he would do it.

I havn't spoke for a while on msn to him....now I never will.

He was always kind to me and would chat if i felt rough and while sometimes was a bit strange he was always respectful of myself andf my lifestyle and never judged me.

fucking hell..

amber1968 @ 2007-03-15T07:57:00

2007-03-15T07:59:12Z

my little boy (jasper the kitten not cj the son) goes in today to be deballed!....poor baby....hes in a rotten mood cus he's not been fed and hes pretty 'autistic' with his feeding...likes grub the same time each day.

will write more later...cant be bothered right now and need to go wash my hair....thats the problem with short hair i have discovered...it needs daily washing cus cant just bung it back in a pony tail!

amber

amber1968 @ 2007-03-13T07:55:00

2007-03-13T08:25:53Z

What is your current relationship status? very much attatched and in love

What is your sexual orientation? gay

What sort of people do you like, as far as what their interests are in life? someone who makes me laugh,not particularily a social butterfly,someone i can be silent with and still comfy.

What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest? as long as they dont look like a bloke then im not really choosy.

What kind of fashion-sense attracts you? dunno really.

What kind of hair style do you find attractive on a potential mate? not a spiky dyky

What is the usual age range you look at? older women apparently.

What traits turn you off?
snobbery,shallowness,unfaithfulness,lying,

Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly? i like monogomous relationships.

Are you afraid to ask people out on dates? yes.

If you're single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship?

What are the positive points about being single? being hairy....lol...i like that one!

What are the negative points about being single? no cuddles :(

When single, do you often find yourself longing for companionship? yes...very much so...im a real snuggle bunny and hate having no one to cuddle up with,

How well do you handle rejection? not too well.

Do you miss your last sweetie? sometimes...but she did a good job of making me hate her before she totally fucked off into the sunset(or stepfordville as i prefer to call it)

Do you think it's better to look for love or let it find you? let it find you,sometimes its there right on your doorstep but you just dont realize it.

What's the longest relationship you've ever been in? the one im in now.

The shortest? a few weeks.

Do you think couples should spend a very large amount of time together or space things out a tad? depends on who they are...i could happily spend all my time with K and still not get fed up with her...we do our own things while together...if that makes sense?!

Have you ever found yourself worrying about commitment? no.

When involved with a person, do you try to think about the here and now or do you often think of the future? depends who im with...i quickly realized with my previous partner there was no future for us so concentrated on just enjoying the moment...shame she couldnt be bothered to do that either.

How do you prefer to handle disagreements? talk about them.

How do you feel when your mate is mad at you and won't tell you why? i hate it and need to know what i have done to piss her off.

Do you have a crush right now? Do they know? only on my partner.

What's the longest period of time you've ever had a crush? yrs...have crushed on pink forever me thinks...lol.

Have you ever confessed your feelings to a crush? yes...eventually i told K...when i couldnt ignore feelings any longer.

Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush? no...

Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you? k...eventually she told me...things were getting too strange between us to ignore any longer.

How do you feel about long-distance relationships? i used to think they could work...now i dont...they suck.

Have you ever pined for someone when you're not around them? of course!

Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already? yes...i have and am.

What would you do if you got pregnant while in a relationship?
want to know how!...and be amazed at K's ability to get me pregnant...lol...shes good but not that good!

Would you get involved with someone if they were previously married? yes...

How big of an issue is religion to your compatibility? not an issue as long as im not pushed or preached at.

How big of an issue to you is your mate's ethnicity?
while im not racist i dont think i would be attracted to an ethnic person.

In a potential mate, how important is intelligence to you? as long as we could have a conversation then thats cool...im not exactly mastermind myself.

In a potential mate, how important is a sense of humor to you? very!...a lot of people dont see k's humour but trust me she cracks me up daily and has a very dry wit about her.

What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face? seeing k walk in the door.

What was your first kiss like? i kissed her...spent all evening trying to get her to kiss me and in the end i gave up and pounced on her...was usual first kiss...bit awkward but we very soon got it together and now her kisses make my toes curl and belly flutter.

What part of a person's body do you find most attractive? depends on the person.

What's the first thing you look at when you look at someone you're attracted to? their eyes...

How important are the looks of a mate's face to you? i dont want to be ashamed to walk down the road with a person...shallow eh!

How important are the looks of a mate's body to you? not...its a person i love...not their body shape....and bearing in mind im grossel;y obese anyway im in no place to judge.

When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other? depends..i made the first move with k...

Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren't seriously involved with? yeh...who hasnt?

Were you single at the time? yeah.

What are your ticklish areas? under arms.

What do you most like about making out? tis fun...

Are you a virgin? nah...

If not, would you consider your first time to have been a good one? nope...was crap.

How old were you when you lost your virginity?pass.

Have you ever had sex with someone you loved? yes.

Have you ever turned down an offer for sex? yes..

How much do you think sex changes a relationship? if sex was crap it would cause probs in a relationship.

On a scale from 1 to 10 [10 being the highest] how would you rate your sexual attractiveness? dunno.

On a scale from 1 to 10 [10 being highest]
How do you feel about casual sex? im too old for it now...but its had its place in my life.

Would you stay with a lover if the love stopped but the sex was still enjoyable? no

Would you stay with a lover if the sex stopped/got boring but there was still love? i have but dont think i could do it indefinately.

Do you believe in love? yes.

Do you believe in love at first sight? yes

Has someone ever told you they loved you? yes...im told it every day.

Have you ever told someone you loved them and meant it? yes...i wouldnt say it otherwise.

Have you ever told someone you loved them and not meant it? no.

Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships? monogomous.

Have you ever been married? no.

How do you feel about marriage? i will marry k one day...fact!

If you're currently not married, do you foresee yourself ever tying the knot? yes...as much as we can do anyway.

Do you plan on having children someday? we have 5 between us already...think thats enough!

Have you ever had your heart broken? god yes!

Have you ever been dumped? yes...

Have you ever dumped someone? yes...

Have you ever mutually broken up with someone? yes...

Has a romantic companion ever made you cry? yes...

Have you ever made a romantic companion cry? yep...

Have you ever had an emotional pain so bad it made you sick or physically hurt? yes...

Have you ever been unfaithful? no...

Have you ever been cheated on? yes...

Have you ever learned an important lesson as a result of a break up? yep...dont trust anyone if they say they want to remain friends.

Have you ever gotten back together with someone after breaking up? briefly...

Did it work? no and i always knew it wouldnt work...but it was fun for a while...

Do you believe there's hope for people after they get back together or do you think the same problems that caused the initial break up will resurface? i think if you have broken up then stay broken up...too much trust gets lost in the split.

Have you ever broken up with someone and remained friends afterward? for a while...but then she decided to shit on me from a great height with no explination...and that sucked.

Have you ever broken up with someone and become bitter enemies? no.

If so, did you ever made amends?

Have you ever broken up with someone and lost touch? yes...

Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication? no..

Were you afraid to do so?

Do you ever check up on old flames without actually contacting them? i would like to know how my ex is doing and if she is happy with her choices but wouldnt try cus i couldnt cope with the rejection that will occur if i tried.

If you've ever lost touch or went sour with someone you loved, how did it make you feel? worthless,hurt and confused.

Have you ever longed to get back together with someone? no.

amber1968 @ 2007-02-26T07:52:00

2007-02-26T08:10:42Z

so...

I think we are finally starting to become more human again in this house after being hit by the dreaded flu bug thats sweeping the nation.

Cj seems to be the only one to have escaped it...well they do say the devil looks after his own dont they!

Steph still not too good...she started to get better then blew it by doing too much too soon and knocked herself back to square one again...but antibiotics for ear/chest infection should be kicking in now so hope to have her on her feet tomorrow....my chest still very rattly but not coughing as much and can at least move now which is more than what was happening last week.

other than that life fairly normal and boring here...had a nice weekend...cj being fairly ok behaved atm so enjoying that respite.

dog a pain in the arse...she seems to get more energy as she gets older not less...but at least her fur has grown back so she looks better...cats fine...they are cats after all...they eat and sleep and groom themselves then sleep some more....jasper baby is getting big...hes very sweet though and his tail is huge!!...miss jess is ok....shes still a snob and will always be one...wont go to anyone really except myself and even then keeps her affection to a minimum.

sprry peeps...this is tres boring i know...wish i knew what i wanted to do with myself then i could possibly consider finding a job...but its safer being home.

snow cats

2007-02-08T08:31:35Z

oh my kitties have had a blast playing in the snow...even grub wouldnt lure them in and believe me their bellies are usually top priority with them!...i wish i had a video camera to have caught the moment...it was so cute and funny...i know...i sound sad dont i?!!!

blah

2007-02-07T07:23:49Z

cold and depressed and just wanting to go away.

last night had a silly moment,was fine and then out of nowhere a cloud descended and i was crying and panicking and needing to get out and get some space around me or something.I txd k who came straight round and took me to tesco for a distraction which worked ok.went to bed when i got back and cried into my pillow for a while before i fell asleep. stupid eh!

looking forward to going away soooooooooooooooooooo much.maybe too much.

duvet day today me thinks...

have got a new addiction online...called inklink and is like charades/pictionary online and is pretty addictive.

so here I sit again...

2007-01-30T09:13:27Z

with sod all of any interest to say!...

Cj off school again with an exclusion!...what happened to the days when the kids were actually punished for being little shits and not just sent home as an easy option for the teachers?!...myself personally I would have no problem at all with him being removed from lessons and made to slog it out with the caretaker or someone doing hard graft...then perhaps he would think twice about telling a teacher to fuck off or calling him a four eyed freak!...sending him home is giving him exactly what he wants...and that defeats the point!

5 weeks until I go away...soooooooooooo can't afford it but with a bit of belt tightening I have managed to get the money together..3 nights in a lovely cottage in Wales...with nowt but fields surrounding me...bliss!...3 nights alone with my babe also...more bliss!...no kids...no problems...no hassles!....it will be good for myself and Karen to get some time....and will be a total bitch coming back but hey ho!....Sha is coming down to have the kids and animals while im away so she has a small break as well...lol..well ish!...she gets cj but on the plus side she also gets loads of time to play with Jasper!...

thats all...told you was boring...

I think I need a life...but im too scared to go out and find one!

another day...another dollar...less!!!

2007-01-04T09:58:07Z

so...to start 2007 off in traditional style I am skint!!!...when I say there is not a single penny in my purse I am not lying!...heyho!...will have to bum off karen or steph until payday...

Have packed kids off to the cinema...cj got tickets for xmas off my mate helen so steph is taking him to see Eragon...I have boring housework to do and then need to try to get Karens lovely rug for her living room clean...shall see what i can do...going round hers later on to nick her dining room table for my house...I am sick of seeing it laden down with junk in her house so suggested I have it as I need a new table and it would actually get used for the purpose its meant to be used for here..shall also work on her repainting her living room...maybe if she starts decorating she will feel its more of a home than a house and start making herself and the kids respect it more cus its a shame...and im getting fed up tidying up there for them to just trash it again within a few weeks...now my house isnt a palace...dont get me wrong...but its fairly tidy and especially the front room.

Gonna start trying to get Jasper to go 'potty' outside now...he can use the catflap fine now so theres no excuse for him to not toilet outside now so i can get rid of the yukky litter tray which i hate.

amber1968 @ 2007-01-02T17:00:00

2007-01-02T16:00:20Z

In 2007, amber1968 resolves to...

Overcome my secret fear of friends.
Ask my boss for an eeyore.
Go to meatloaf every Sunday.
Learn to play the vodka.
Keep my charity_love clean.
Become a better magentakisses.

first entry in 2007

2007-01-01T11:10:08Z

so...another yr is starting...I wonder what it will bring to me and my friends and family...time will tell I guess.

To Karen I just want to send all my love and thank you for being there,loving and accepting me, being my best friend, as you said,its another yr gone and another yr closer to usbeing together properly so I shall keep that thought with me close to my heart.

To sha I want to thank you for being a great mate/daughter...for being there for me to rant and trave at when I need a shoulder...and for being there to kid/animal and house sit while myself and K get away from it all...

To all my internet buddy's...you all rock...thx for comments and support and chats and insane tx's (mothy)...hope 2007 brings you all happiness and love.

To *c*...I hope 2007 brings you everything you deserve.

I saw 200 in alone as K's son was home and we decided not to 'dump' him on her mum so she had something less to moan about to K and make her feel guilty...fireworks did my bloody head in...steph was out partying...hope she stayed fairly sober and deffo safe...im sure she did...shes a bit 'blonde' sometimes but has a good group of mates who look after eachother.

anyway...

this is a boring entry...as usual with me...

later taters

the end of something good

2006-12-29T11:38:27Z

so...finally after my becoming a tx pest C finally had the good grace to tx back and tell me to stop txing her.

Thats all I wanted..well actually I wanted some kind of explination as to why she suddenly decided not to remain friends with me but she obviously is too much of a coward to tell me why

she said she wants to move on with her family...ffs who is she kidding!...not me thats for sure...its been a bloody long time since I believed anything she had to say...especially about her crock of shit false family...one day she will get hers...believe me...after all..what goes around etc etc etc...and one day she will have an affair with someone who wont take it lying down(not literally) and will seek revenge....or maybe even one day her drip of a husband will open his eyes to what his wife is really like and bin her!...but lets be real...that doesnt happen in fucking pretend life is perfect world does it!

One day she will pay for hurting people...some fucking good christian she is eh!...still...im sure if she goes to church enough she will be able to convince herself 'god' has forgiven her so she will be ok to continue shagging around for england and ignoring the damage her fucked up (perfect) family is doing to her kids...one day she will realize her kids cut because of their lifestyles"!...ffs you dont get 3 out of 4 kids selfharming for no reason do you?!!!...one day she might even open her eyes and see her daughter is a pot head...her son is a sponging drip who is making a fool off her and her husband is a total loser!...well actually she knows that bit already but just pretends he isnt cus she is too money consious to do anything about it.

I wish she had had the guts to make a clean break 3 yrs ago when we split up instead of pretend she wanted to be friends...I am not stupid...slightly mad maybe but not stupid...but no thats not her way....thats too honest and open and she doesnt do that.

I hope one day the Corfe Mullen society see her for the lying,lesbian bitch she has proved herself to be and turn their backs on her....I hope one day she gets left sad and alone with no children to hide behind...I hope oone day she finds herself old and lonely and stuck with just her fake marriage and boring husband to keep her occupied.

One day I will get her back...she so shouldnt have fucked with me/my head or my littles...especially my littles...they didnt deserve her lies.

god im mad as hell at her...and am bloody glad all love and respect i had for her had long gone or i would be a totally fucked up mess right now...now im just plotting and planning...after all..a woman scorned and all that!...